


Life Debt

by balrock



Category: Fullmetal Alchemist - All Media Types, Fullmetal Alchemist: Brotherhood & Manga
Genre: Alternate Universe - Ishbalan | Ishvalan, Angst, Ed is 22, Gen, Ishbalan | Ishvalan Edward Elric, Ishval Civil War, Post-Promised Day, Some Fluff, ed puts him in his place, implied assassination attempt, life debts, roy is dumb and guilty
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-10-26
Updated: 2018-10-26
Packaged: 2019-08-08 02:19:43
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,682
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16420508
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/balrock/pseuds/balrock
Summary: “You really don’t know, do you?”He’d stepped in front of a bullet, and just like him, a silver chained pocket watch was the only reason Ed was still alive.“No, I really don’t know why you would use yourself as a human fucking shield and almost get yourself killed for me, Fullmetal.”





	Life Debt

“You really don’t know, do you?”

He’d stepped in front of a bullet, and just like him, a silver chained pocket watch was the only reason Ed was still alive. 

“No, I really don’t know why you would use yourself as a human fucking shield and almost get yourself killed for me, Fullmetal.” He was more scared than angry, really, this man he knew as a boy was like a son to him. “Please, enlighten me.”

Fullmetal just continued to look at him in confusion, study him for something, before sighing. He looked down at his feet for a moment, gathering his thoughts while Mustang and Riza waited in anticipation. When he looked back up again, however, Fullmetal had dropped all his masks of indifference; he looked at him, not as a nineteen year old major or as the Fullmetal Alchemist, but as Ed.

And looked at him, not as a general or the future Fürher of Amestris, but as Roy. 

As if they could ever be two ordinary men.

“When I joined the military,” Ed started, “I owed you four life debts.”

Roy’s jaw dropped, Riza inhaled sharply. Ed ignored them. “After Al and I- when we tried-“ he shook his head, “I fell into a depression fueled by failure and grief. You were the one that, quite literally, shook some sense into me and gave me a way forward.” He laughed quietly, mirthlessly. “That was the second time you saved my life.”

“Second?” Roy spluttered, “But that was the first time I met you.”

Ed studied him for a moment more, or maybe he was trying to work up some courage — but somehow that didn’t fit right in Roy’s perception of Ed. They’d been working together for almost ten years now and Ed still had the ability to surprise him. And now he’s telling him that they’d met before that fateful day in Resembool? 

He was never one to hide his cards, was he? No... that was Fullmetal that never cared for stealth or secrets... but apparently Edward held his cards close to his chest. 

“The first time,” he started again, startling Roy by how quiet he was, “you saved not only my life, but Al and my mother’s as well.” But Roy had never met Trisha Elric, had he? “A few miles to the southeast of Qaiyla was the small village of Kidu. The village had probably no more than a hundred people; it was small and poor, but they got by.” When Ed stopped to get confirmation that he remembered the place he was talking about, Roy was still scrambling to put his defenses back up, to keep the horror and disgust and loathing off his face. “You were ordered to search every living space before setting it on fire. I know-“

“How do you know this?” Panic was clawing it’s way into his throat and lungs like smoke and char of burning flesh and hair. He was shaking with horror and guilt, the faces of everyone he murdered flashing though his mind — men, women, children; young and old. All innocent and all terrified. “Ho-how- why are you telling me this?” 

Riza was behind him, suddenly, glaring at the man standing before them and bearing their sins back to them.

“Because I was there.”

With a single sentence, everything shattered into utterly still chaos. 

“I was there that night,” he repeated. “I was there when you searched the last house, blessedly alone, without any soldiers behind you. I was there when you saw an Ishvalan woman with dyed hair and Amestrian clothing and ruby red eyes, one child strapped to her back and standing protectively between you and the other staring at you from behind her legs.” Edward got closer to Roy with each sentence, until he knelt before him and carefully removed his hands from his face, forcing him to look into tired golden eyes. “I remember the look in your eyes as you were about to snap, but hesitated.”

Roy remembers too. He remembers the fire and the smoke and the screams of burning people, gunshots and hollers of victory from those who were still tying to delude themselves, still trying to keep up the charade. He remembers telling the other soldiers that he could take care of the last house himself. He remembers seeing an Amestrian woman years younger than himself telling her son to be very quiet only to whip around to face him with angrydeterminedscared red eyes. He remembers the boy strapped to her back settled in his dreams just like any other night, while the other peered at him with scared impossible yellow eyes that must have been reflecting the light of his flames. He remembers—

He realizes that the impossible yellow eyes were the very same wise amber he’d been looking at for years.

“I remember you dropped to your knees and made three corpses out of sand, carbon, and a lock of hair.” Ed paused to take a shuddering breath and wipe away the tears that had fallen down Roy’s cheeks. “I remember that you told us to run, run and never look back. That was the first and only order you ever gave me that I followed without complaint.” 

A small laugh bubbled up in Roy’s throat that he was helpless to stop, it turned into a sob partway through and the tears renewed, streaking down his face in guilty relief. Faintly, he heard Riza sigh in relief behind him. He’d told her about that night, about his fears. “I-I was afraid,” he hiccuped, suddenly glad that it was just the three of them in his inner office, “I was afraid that I had spared them- that I had spared you that night on-only to doom you to a worse fate. Only to delay the inevitable.” A thought came to his mind, suddenly and the horror renewed. “If- If you grew up there, then... I killed your family, relatives.” 

Those amber eyes held no denial, yet no hatred or condemnation either, instead they offered absolution and a wry smile. “You didn’t have a choice.”

“There is always a choice!” He didn’t know why he was angry, why he wanted Edward to be angry as well. He didn’t know why he wanted Edward to hate him, or why he felt like that would be easier to live with. “I could have deserted! I could have refused! But I didn’t and I slaughtered your people— murdered your family! I deserve the worst punishment to atone for my crimes and—!”

Roy didn’t know when he’d stood up to loom over Edward or when Edward had gotten tall enough for them to nearly see eye to eye. However, despite the few inches Roy had over him, Roy almost felt himself shrink beneath his gaze. He had wanted Ed to be angry, furious at him, but now that he was Roy feared that the white flames shining in his eyes would burn him from the inside out, starting with his soul. 

It would be no less than what he deserved.

It wasn’t what he got.

“Now, you listen to me and you listen good, Roy Mustang,” Edward growled. “You made an oath on those red sands. You made an oath that you were going to change this country from the top. How the fuck are you going to do that if you’re six feet under? You want to atone? Then you don’t fucking do it by going back on your word and make those lives lost mean nothing.” He hissed. “You atone by fixing Bradley’s mess- Father’s mess! You do it by making it to the top and rebuilding Ishval and returning her people to the desert where they can thrive. You do it by rebuilding this country from the ground up, with foundations that aren’t built to crumble to it’s knees in supplication to a corrupt government!”

Edward stopped and Roy fell back to the couch, as if all his strings had been cut. 

But Edward wasn’t done yet.

“I learned the hard way that souls have no defined value,” he said quietly, but no less firm. “Yes, you may have blood on your hands and their faces in your mind, but you did not give the order to kill them. You do not have their blood stained onto your soul.” Roy looked into his eyes wanting that flame to burn him, but it was no longer a torrent of flames but small embers warmed with forgiveness that glowed in his eyes. “You were used for your knowledge and skills as weapons of mass destruction,” Ed looked over Roy’s shoulder to where he knew Riza was paying rapt attention to every word. “And I know the war and what you did haunts you as much as it haunts me and my red eyed siblings.”

Ed leaned over the couch back to gather Riza and Roy both in his arms and whispered: “Ishvalans are not the only victims of the war, you are too.” 

Roy didn’t know how long they sat like that — he and Riza clinging to the boy they watched grow into a man and him sitting there holding them, absolving them of their sins and reminding them of the way forward — before Riza retreated to compose herself, wiping the tears off her once more stoic face and said that she should go check on the rest of the team. 

Edward just shook his head, “You two could use a while to yourselves, I can handle the guys.” Riza went to protest and Ed gave her a dull look and an exasperated sigh. “I know you always need to be the one in command since Roy is a slacker who doodles on his ink blotter more than he gets actual work done, but you need some rest and comfort too.” He maneuvered her onto the couch — which said more about her mental state than she was willing to admit aloud — and on the way out, hand on the door, he turned around and said to them: “Idris Azhar Ar’evik, sir.” And saluted.

**Author's Note:**

> \- Idris/Edris (arabic/turkish): interpreter, name of an ancient prophet  
> \- Azhar (arabic): brighter, more luminous  
> \- Arevik (armenian): “like the sun”
> 
> I hope you enjoyed!


End file.
